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I started off light, asking about his day and his job. His smile widened across his face as my eyes met his.
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A few of her colleagues and friends sat around her table while we snacked on hummus and bread, and someone asked about my recent trip to Europe. I rambled incessantly, illustrating the nightclubs, the hostels I stayed in, even how I bled through my powder-blue dress because I fasual to change my tampon. I can see their faces now, wide-eyed and uncomfortable, but at the time they coalesced palneville one indistinguishable figure, Dave Matthews playing in palevnille background taking precedent. So, I meticulously designed a persona who nodded at the right time, rehearsed lines, smiled palenvolle appropriate, monitored personal space, spoke Free casual dating in palenville ny 12463.
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The manager looked at my petite frame and nervous smile, pointed her manicured hand to the dressing room and listed the rules: You get one free drink. No drugs on the floor. Hundreds of customers came and went during the hour shift, sitting on plush couches and crowding around the bar. All but one dismissed me. I sat at the bar to observe, sipping my free champagne. One dancer particularly stood out with her naturally frizzy curls and tattered black bra. From the bar, I saw her sitting alone on one of the upholstered couches that lined the back of the club. I took a deep breath and approached her, brushing aside the fringe curtain separating the lap dance room from the bar. It was getting late, two hours before closing, and I was exhausted and frustrated.
I thought about packing up and never coming back, but I needed this to work out. She stared at me with a bored expression, so I got right to it. Make them pay big bucks if they want to dump their shit on you. You sound like a child. She saw right through my mask. I learned to showcase different parts of my persona based on the customer. Performing felt strangely comfortable, even though the job was foreign and challenging. That conversation lasted minutes, but the advice made for a successful career.
And when I was unsure, I had her original rules to catch me. Are they asking for my real name? Are they relaying problems in their life without buying a dance first? On the floor of the club, I spent hours practicing each weekend, and for the first time in my life, I learned how to cut through layers of language in real time, just like Claire, until it became effortless. Most people I met outside of work told me I was a great listener, unaware of how much time I spent in my room practicing the correct reactions. Nearly two years after I started dancing, my friend Sarah invited me to her birthday party. My least favorite social situation: True, I was better at picking up more obvious cues like eagerness and anger, but group settings were strenuous — too many subtleties to keep track of.
I packed up my lace teddy and Red Bull into a discreet bag and headed over to the restaurant before work. The hour and a half crawled by. There were six of us around a small table. I prayed no one would ask me personal questions. His words mixed in with the background conversation and it sounded like another language. I broke out in sweat. A second later the words clicked.